


Twenty Whores

by fhsa_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Crossover, Episode Related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-23
Updated: 2004-01-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 17:25:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12798945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: Written for the Cube Network Challenge





	Twenty Whores

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 1

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 12:00 a.m. and 1:00 a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K play time.

 

I am investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. My hired-assassin lover has me tied upside down from the bedposts and just went to the kitchen to get whipped cream to lick off my erection. I am Special Agent Fox Mulder and this is the horniest day of my life.

 

 

*****************************************************************

 

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 2 

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 1:00 a.m. and 2:00 a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K play time.

 

I am investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. I have been tied to the bedposts by my hired-assassin lover, Alex Krycek. My entire body is covered in Redi-whip and my cock is throbbing. My cell phone is ringing. I am Special Agent Fox Mulder and this is the horniest day of my life.

 

 

********************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 3 

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 2:00 a.m. and 3:00 a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K frustration time.

 

I am investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. I am in a ratty, foul-smelling, dilapidated apartment building that is apparently a crime scene. My FBI partner, Dana Scully, is scraping white viscous liquid off of some sheets. I hope she doesn’t examine it by taste. There is no body at this "crime scene." My lover just called me to tell me he is licking whipped cream off his fingers and pretending they are my cock. I still haven‘t come and I‘m still pissed. I am Special Agent Fox Mulder and this is the horniest day of my life.

 

**************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 4 

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 3:00 a.m. and 4:00 a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K frustration time.

 

I am investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. My partner has taken samples of the fluid she scraped off the bed sheets to the FBI labs to examine them. My phone is ringing again, but I am going to ignore it. The perp left some nice hot coffee here. I have discovered an envelope containing pictures of a extremely risque nature under a cushion of the missing tenant’s sofa. One of the men looks like Alex. I haven‘t come and I’m rock hard and I‘m pissed. Would you please excuse me while I visit the boys’ room. I am Special Agent Fox Mulder and this is the horniest day of my life.

 

***************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 5 

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 4:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K disgruntled time.

 

I am investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. I have finally come, but it wasn‘t particularly satisfying. I am at the Hoover Building listening to Scully drone on and on about the properties of semen. I would rather be investigating the properties of Alex’s semen. The coffee I brought with me lukewarm and bitter. And it tastes weird. I still have these pictures and they are driving me wild. I am Special Agent Fox Mulder and this is the horniest day of my life.

 

*********************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 6 

 

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 5:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K time.

 

I am investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. Scully has just come back with more data. I never thought she was hot before. Is that Pendrell with her? Fuck, he’s damn cute. Alex would kill me. My cock is so hard right now it hurts. I am Special Agent Fox Mulder and I am going to fuck someone right now!.

 

 

*******************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 7

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 6:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K surreal time. 

 

I am investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. I have just spent the evening analyzing semen. My partner is apparently under the influence of some unknown substance. He is acting in a completely incomprehensible manner and was last seen frantically rubbing against the janitor’s mop. The lab technician who was helping me with this case has mysteriously disappeared. I intend to report what few findings I have, as well as my concerns, to my superior and ask for outside assistance. I am Special Agent Dana Scully and this is the most irritating day of my life. 

**************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 8 

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 5:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K surreal time.

 

I am investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. My partner is missing, and, in my medical opinion, he is under the influence of some unknown substance and completely out of control. My superior, A.D. Skinner, believes that my partner is simply over-stressed and possibly drunk. I have received a call from the District Police Department indicating that a person bearing my partner’s badge was humping a policeman outside of the Old Stone House in Rock Creek Park. He fled the scene before they were able to apprehend him. Although I am loathe to do so, I feel I must inform, and ask the help of, the man with whom my partner has been consorting. I am Special Agent Dana Scully and this is the most irritating day of my life.

 

****************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 9

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K surreal time.

 

My partner was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. His FBI partner, Dana Scully, claims he was last seen humping a janitor in a park. She believes that Mulder may be intoxicated, however, her analysis of fluids he ingested from the crime scene does not reveal any known pharmaceuticals. I have infiltrated the crime scene and started my own investigation. I wasn’t finished with Mulder when he left to being this investigation. I am Alex Krycek and at this time I am completely confused, armed, unsatisfied and dangerous.

 

*************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 10

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 9:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K surreal time.

 

My partner was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. My lover, Fox Mulder, has been arrested and is sedate and in solitary confinement in the Washington D.C. Jail. I have infiltrated the crime scene and started my own investigation. Dana Scully is not aware of my investigation. I have found little at the crime scene, other than the fluids Scully mentioned; however, there are a few scraps of paper with some kind of cryptic writing that looks like it includes some form of French. I am Alex Krycek and at this time I am completely confused, armed, unsatisfied and dangerous.

 

**********************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 11

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 10:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K surreal time.

 

My partner was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. He is currently confined in the District of Columbia Metropolitan Jail, pending arraignment. Dana is more tenacious than I ever suspected. She has followed me here. However, I may be able to use her to piece together some of the evidence I’ve found at the crime scene. She does have a good eye. My cell phone is ringing. I hope it is the bail bondsman. I am Alex Krycek and I have a clue now, but I am still dangerous.

*****************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 12

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 11:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K surreal time.

 

My partner was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. He has been released from the District of Columbia Metropolitan Jail into my custody, thanks to a very useful business contact. Apparently the sedation is only partially effective. He continues to hump my leg and has twice attempted to remove my pants, even though he remains unconscious. Mulder’s cell phone rings incessantly. I answered it once and it was A.D. Skinner. I hung up on him. I think we are being followed. I have encrypted all of the evidence I have recovered and given Scully several "tasks" to perform. I hope the cabin is accessible. I am Alex Krycek and this is now the most annoying day of my life.

 

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 13

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 12:00 p.m. and 1:00 p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K surreal time.

 

My life partner, Fox Mulder, was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. He has apparently been intoxicated by some unknown substance and is masturbating continuously. In fact, he can’t keep his fucking hands off his dick. I wish I could take advantage of the situation, but I have to figure out what’s wrong with him. We are currently holed up in the Former Consortium Flunkies’ Retirement Cabin at Lake Saratoga. I am trying to sort through various papers I recovered from the crime scene. I managed to lose our tail. If Mulder doesn’t calm down soon, I think he may might lose his tail. I am actually considering calling Scully. Fuck. I am Alex Krycek and this is the most annoying day of my life.

*************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 14

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 1:00 p.m. and 2:00 p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K horny time.

 

 

My life partner, Fox Mulder, was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. He has apparently been intoxicated by some unknown substance and is sporting an indefatigable hard-on. He has come about 20 times during the last couple of hours. Lucky bastard. I finally gave up on keeping my own hands off him and just screwed him halfway to hell and back. The papers I recovered are written in some sort of archaic pidgin French. I will have to take them to a translator, which means tying Mulder to the bed again. Mulder’s cell phone is ringing almost as often as he shoots a load. I suspect it is Scully calling. I am Alex Krycek and this is the most unpredictable, and strangely satisfying, day of my life.

**************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 15

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 2:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K senseless time.

 

 

My life partner, Fox Mulder, was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. He has apparently been intoxicated by some unknown substance that makes viagra look like children’s vitamins. His phone would not stop ringing, so I had extreme pleasure of fucking with his boss‘s mind over the phone. Scully is missing. I brought Mulder with me to the herb and curio shop. I will have to leave him handcuffed to the door while I am inside, and hope he doesn’t flash anyone. Payback time, Mulder! I am Alex Krycek and this is the most captivating day of my life.

*********************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 16

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 3:00 p.m. and 4:00 p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K senseless time.

 

 

I am handcuffed to the locked door of Alex Krycek’s car. I vaguely remember investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. I cannot reach my cell phone. I am horny as hell and have got to get laid if it means tearing the fucking door off the car. mphwermle! I am Fox Mulder and this is the most frustrating day of my life.

*******************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 17

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 4:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K senseless time.

 

My life partner, Fox Mulder, was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. He has apparently been intoxicated by some unknown substance and is sporting an indefatigable hard-on. I will have a translation of the papers from the crime scene in an hour or so, but Mulder either escaped or has been taken from my car. I was forced to talk to Skinner again and learned that Scully has been kidnapped. He is not amused. Nor am I. I am Alex Krycek and this is the most bizarre day of my life.

*************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 18

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K senseless time.

 

 

My life partner, Fox Mulder, was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. He has apparently been intoxicated by some unknown substance and is sporting an indefatigable hard-on. I have just received yet another call from an irate Skinner, who claims Mulder has been seen in several cafes and bars, dropping cheesy pick up lines and loitering in men’s rooms. Scully’s captors have demanded that Mulder to use his "influence" to get the government to fund a crop circle shrine. For once the Consortium is not responsible for her disappearance! I am Alex Krycek and this is the most bizarre day of my life.

***************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 19

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K senseless time.

 

My life partner, Fox Mulder, was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. He has apparently been intoxicated by some unknown substance and is sporting an indefatigable hard-on. The D.C. Police have Mulder on the wanted list for a variety of sex crimes, some too kinky for me to even mention. He was last seen molesting a pizza delivery guy for both the pizza and a blow job Or maybe he was trying to give the pizza a blow job; I'm not sure I really understood that one. Scully has been kidnapped by a gang of wacko crop circle fanatics. Skinner is on the verge of a stroke. I have to go back to the Voodoo shop to get my translation. And then I have to find Mulder and maybe one of those pizzas. I am Alex Krycek and this is the most ravenous day of my life.

****************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 20

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 7:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K ballsy time.

 

 

My life partner, Fox Mulder, was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. He has apparently been intoxicated by some unknown substance, has a raging hard-on, and everything and everyone, including deformed newts, sexually attractive. Scully has been kidnapped by a gang of wacko crop circle fanatics, but Skinner is negotiating with them. I think it may be an inside job and have quit taking calls from FBI employees. The translation turned out to be a spell of some sort that requires a mixture of stimulants and body fluids. It may be a messed up love spell. I have tracked Mulder down to a sleezy hourly-rate motel on the outskirts of the suburbs. I’m going in. I am Alex Krycek and this is the most bizarre day of my life.

*************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 21

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 8:00 p.m. and 9:00

p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events

occur in M/K relieved time.

 

 

My life partner, Fox Mulder, was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. He has apparently been intoxicated by some unknown substance that may involve some sort of spell, or possibly a love potion. I have dragged him out of a sleezy motel on the outskirts of the suburbs, much to the disappointment of the men who were waiting in line. I am covered in bruises and my clothes are half torn off my body. Scully has been kidnapped by a gang of wacko crop circle fanatics. Skinner says they might settle for Congress declaring a national crop circle day. Whatever. I still think that it was an inside job. I told him not to call me again and that I will call him. We are finally home and I have a translation of the spell Mulder is under. Perhaps I can finally get

my weirdo, sex maniac lover straightened out and get some sleep. Or at least some coffee. I am Alex Krycek and this is the most tiring day of my life.

**************************************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 22

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 9:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K silliness time.

 

Fuck! Just ... Fuck! Mulder’s fish are missing! Shit shit shit. Now I am certain there is a mole in the FBI. Who else would steal Mulder’s fish? How would the crop circle cretins even know he has fish? The smoking bastard would never waste his time on Mulder’s fish. God, he is humping my leg again. Mulder, that is -- not Spender. He is too distracted by desire to notice his fish are missing. He hasn’t even asked about Scully. Time to handcuff him to the bed again. Must call Skinner and find out who in the FBI uses a Mac and who uses a PC. And make coffee. I am Alex Krycek and this is the most fucked up day of my life.

***************************************************************************************

TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 23

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

 

The following takes place between 10:00 p.m. and 11:00 p.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K silliness time.

 

My life partner, Fox Mulder, was investigating a serial killer who has murdered twenty male prostitutes by licking their cocks until they exploded. His fish and his FBI partner have both been kidnapped. We are at a warehouse waiting to meet with the crop circle fanatics’ leader. I am completely exhausted, starving and irritated as hell. Thank God I at least have a thermos of coffee. I am trying to undo this sex spell while we wait, and pour us both some coffee. Skinner thinks I am insane for suggesting there is a mole in the FBI. Oh shit ... the leader of the Crop Circle Fanatics’ gang is here. 

 

Fuck me! I thought Deputy Director Kersh didn’t believe! How did he get involved with a bunch of crop circle fanatics? I guess I have my mole. I am Alex Krycek and this is the most flabbergasting day of my life.

 

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TITLE: Twenty Whores

SHOW: 24

EPISODE: 24

AUTHOR: Mlle Elizabeth

The following takes place between 11:00 p.m. and 12:00a.m. on the day of the Cube Network Challenge. Events occur in M/K conclusory time.

 

This is all very confusing. I am standing in themiddle of an empty warehouse with my lover and DeputyDirector Kersh, who has a rather wild look in his eyeand a helluva huge erection. This may be because Alexthrew a thermos of coffee at him. But then it may alsobe because I was apparently jacking off at the time Alex threw the coffee and some of that got on Kersh, as well. Alex is screaming something about Kershbeing under a spell now and trying to drag me out of here. I think he has completely lost it. Kersh’s henchmen have released Scully and my fish and ran away in terror. I’m going home to give Alex a blow job. Maybe that will calm him down a bit. I will callSkinner to come pick up Kersh. I also need a nap. I am Special Agent Fox Mulder and this has been the most exhausting day of my life.


End file.
